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post #2 of (permalink) Old 03-28-2013, 01:55 AM
country flag Pelotari
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2013
Age: 67
Posts: 9
Re: Epic Tennis Stories!! Post them here!

im a really weird and antisocial dude from north of spain, played tennis in high school for a couple of years when i was like 14 or so. I did not entirely like my teachers, there was something weird about them, something odd, a gloomy feeling, you could almost smell it (or maybe im just paranoid, but i swear, a lot of these tennis teacher dudes look like alien pods or something). THey looked at me funny because i would wear iron maiden shirts to tournament games, which is lame, i had way worse tshirts, i had baron rojo tshirts for pete sampras sake!!!
Anyway im there and im thinking "i wonder how will they react if a hit them in the balls". So i formulate a plan and i achieve my first ballbursting run, from high altitude i would drop stealth and i would drop a volley to their general crotch area, saturation bombing style, i HAD TO HIT SOMETHING.
So i nail the first dude.
Pain and laughter ensues, thats life right there boys and girls, pain, and lulz, lots of lulz. No ill feelings, just some grunting, A couple of months later i take my ninja skills to the second set of balls, or balls set match as i would say. So this is how it went down, the dude is talking on the other side of the court, and the kids are serving, its my turn, and so much talking im starting to see red, not only because his vocabulary was really poor, but he WOULD JUST NOT SHUT UP. So im thinking, i will serve this ball as hard as i can positively can, and god willing, i will make him STOP, I will serve them all and god will sort them out. So i served and hit the dude in the nutsack.
Again, pain and laughter ensues, all the kids loling, "he did it again!!! he did it again!!!" we were alive gdamm it, i think he even cried, it was beautiful, so much emotion.
But then he gets mad, "why did you just served bla bla bla i was talking it bla bla bla!!!", i let him calm down and finally i go, "come on teach! its not like i did it on purpose... how could i possibly hit something SO SMALL from here on purpose!!!!"
He acted like he did not hear, game set ballz right there
In the summer a girl was going to be the new teacher, all the boys were really amped up and going "NIIIICE". Full conversations revolving around just one word: "NIIIIICE". Turns out she was like a cross between angela merkel and margaret tatcher. So i did what i do best, thats right you guessed it: try to hit HER in the balls
I gave it my best, i ate my cereal, took my vitamins, prayed to several gods, but i couldnt do it, i just could not, every day, looking for those mythical balls on the hill, i sensed they were close, i could almost taste them (wait, that came up bad, forget that!), but i failed. Ive never forgiven myself for not completing my opera magna. Now im hollow, incomplete, sterile (well, not like them lol)
SO i turned the racket to me, a single tear runs down my face, i was ready to commit ball sepukku, but, wait a moment, you know what? f tennis, this thing resembles a guitar!!!. thats it, im learning to play the guitar!!!
And thats the story of how i went to playing tennis to playing the guitar

I realized i could never be a white knight, i was supposed to be a dark knight. Because i could take it

ps. Do you know its easier to string a guitar than a racket? i leave you all with that thought in mind, challenging you all at nighttime

pps. true story
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