The diminutive-statured Argentine Guillermo Coria held a press conference to announce that he awoke this morning to watch Roger Federer crush Rafael 'Rafa' Nadal 6-0 in the 3rd set of Hamburg to snap Nadal's 81-match clay court winning streak.
"The world has gone crazy," Guille said. "First, the 'other' Guillermo of Argentina beats Federer twice in a row..." (shakes his head) "and then none other than little Volandri beats Federer!!" (puts his finger in the shape of a small insect that should stand no chance against a higher life form...lets little insect shape fall to the table, dead...crushes imaginary object into the table, dead dead dead)
"But then after so many terribly played losses to Rafael Nadal in the last few years, in which Federer's balls had-- in the words of Roland Garros champion (puts his hands in a prayer) Mats Wilander-- 'shrunk to a very small size' ... Federer bitch slaps the Spanish Bull with great ease, for his first ever career win over Nadal on a clay court. My, my...I must say I am extremely pleased."
"So, seeing the true absurdity of everything that happens" he said... playing his fingers across his chest like a musical instrument, "I have lost all fear."
[For those who sometimes leave this forum believing this kind of post....no, he didnt actually hold a press conference to say this...but i am sure he is thinking it. ]