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post #1917 of (permalink) Old 02-04-2013, 10:27 PM
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Re: Look, you know, our draws are not rigged they are just unlikely. (pt3)

Originally Posted by savesthedizzle View Post
Thanks guys, it hits my family harder than me. He and I didn't have much of a relationship. From the time I was born he was disappointed I wasn't a boy, and then following me he was gifted 4 male grandchildren so I never got much of his love or attention. My dad was close to him so I feel bad for what he's going through, but as for me... I am fine. My grandfather was very old fashioned, very racist and very sexist and once I got old enough to realize the things he was saying would be offensive to people, it definitely drove another wall between us besides this whole "I'm a useless girl grandchild" thing. He went to every one of my cousins football games, wrestling matches, baseball games, and only ONE of my dance recitals/school plays/school musicals of my entire life. I was artsy rather than sporty and he didn't have an appreciation for that so he didn't come. I was the first member of that family to graduate from college... didn't attend. Did attend my male cousin graduating from the police academy. I'm not... bitter. It is what it is, but, to me he's not exactly a "grandfather" figure like my other grandfather was (who unfortunately already passed 20 years ago).

I appreciate all your thoughts and well wishes though
Even if you didn't have a good relationship with him, you're now dealing with all these feelings and thoughts that have always been there, but with his death are revived. It's only normal, and you're are absolutely not being bitter!
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