This past year has probably been the worst of my life. I will be glad when 2012 draws to a close to be quite honest.
My aunt, who I was close to, got diagnosed with a terminal illness in October of last year and died in February. In the meantime, my mum went into a serious depression (combined with alcoholism), ended up ranting at me for hours upon end on a nightly basis, and there were several unsuccessful suicide attempts on her part. I didn't speak to anyone about it until recently and just let it bottle up - it's something I've done all my life.
As a result, I experienced a huge loss of self-esteem, my diet went out the window completely and I ballooned in weight. There were days in which I didn't get out of bed, and weeks in which I didn't leave the house. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Thus, the relationship with my ex-girlfriend deteriorated to a point in which I couldn't commit to her as I was such an emotional wreck and would have just brought her down. Now she's with someone else.
Funnily enough, though, her leaving me to shack up with someone else has been the trigger to sort my life out. The past 6 weeks, I've gotten my life back on track - joined the gym, regular exercise, improved my diet, and a bit of retail therapy. I've lost 7kg in the past month and feel 10000% better and I feel like I can start a conversation with anyone which is something I haven't been able to do for a while now. This is particularly useful for meeting new people, as most of my old friends have either moved away or are married/in a LTR which means I barely get to see them at all.
I have no idea whether my ex will come crawling back, but honestly I'm not entirely bothered, as I have to look after myself first and foremost.
Major hugs to you.
I can relate to having someone diagnosed with a terminal illness. The first ten months of my 2012 have been horrendous too (though not to the same extent as yours) but I finally feel like I'm in a good place in my life for the most part (insofar as things are within my control, anyway). I'm glad you're picking yourself up and getting things together. 2013 will be a better year.
I am convinced that all jobs suck, of course none are as bad as mine. I think about quitting every single day. I've been there too long, it requires no skill, totally wastes my abilities and I peaked at the job unless I want to be in a supervisory position but I'd rather kill myself than be a supervisor at my job. The only possible benefit of being supervisor at my job would be that it would transform me into a tyrant and I've always wanted to try my hand at tyranny.
What do you do?
I totally hated the two jobs that I had over the past couple of years for different reasons. I thought about quitting every day too and when I finally quit, it was awesome. Maybe you should quit too.