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post #1 of (permalink) Old 08-01-2012, 06:33 AM Thread Starter
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MTF Bios: Because WE know WHO the real legends are. Today: Michael Russell

Hello, my lovely doggy dogg's soldiers. It's Professor Johnny Viruz and this is:

Michael Russell

Michael Russell, called "Iron Mike" is an american tennis player born in 1978.
He's best known for being the last american player winner of the prestigious French Open in 2001, that's why he's called the "Clay King beyond the ocean".

- Wait... What the...? WHAT?! No! He lost in R4 vs Guga Kuerten.
- Oh, good lord. It seems we have another BITCH who believes every stupid story they told you, okay... here we go.

As you know, this is MTF Bios, and we're here to tell you the REAL story.

The ATP Mafia told you all that Iron Mike lost to Guga in R4, right?

The great Iron Mike was playing the French open after winning the qualies, he defeated powerful claycourters like Mahut, Bruguera, Malisse (epic 5-setter) and then, in R4 he faced Guga Kuerten.

Iron Mike was leading his match vs Kuerten 6-3 6-4 5-3 (Kuerten on serve).

Well... The ATP Mafia told you all Kuerten saved a match point, won that set in a tie-breaker and then easily defeated Mike 6-3 6-1.


This is what REALLY happened there:


- Uhhh... What's that? A Forehand?
- WHAT?!?!? Are you nuts?! "A forehand". HELL NO, BITCH. It's not "A forehand", it's "The Forehand" and for you it's "Supreme lord Iron Mike's forehand" okay!?

Michael won the match with that powerful forehand.
The defending champion was broken again. Russell won 6-3 6-4 6-3 to the great claycourter. IN-YOUR-FACE. Straight-setted, Guga.

Then, it was pretty amazing what happened:

Mike defeated Kafelnikov, Ferrero and Corretja in order to win the tournament, making 4 bagels and losing less than 5 games per match.


As I was saying. Iron Mike is known for being the last american french open winner.
Since that, he won the most important titles ever including 11 challengers and 8 futures in all surfaces the sport has (except grass, fuck grass).

Look at that pic.
You see that? That's honolulu in summer. BUT IT'S BETTER IN WINTER:

Iron Mike won the Honolulu challenger in 2010, in January, 31 2010.
The cold winter of Hawaii had only one winner: Iron Mike. The tournament was played in the now banned surface of snow, where is too difficult to win because the ball doesn't bounces.

Iron Mike made a beautiful bagel over Žemlja and won 6-0 6-3. HOW'S THAT, HUH?

- I'm sorry to interrupt you.
- What the hell do you want? I'm used to your annoying interruptions, since the hewitt chapter you're interrumpting the show, and giving MTF a headache.
- Okay, whatever... But I'm pretty sure Hawaii during winter isn't like that.
- And i'm pretty sure your ass is bigger than a black hole. As you can see, I don't give a crap about what you think, so shut up and enjoy the ride.

ATP experts describe Michael Russel as a defensive counterpuncher.


Iron Mike ain't no defensive counterpuncher, he's an "ALL-AROUND-WINNER". He can do better shots than Fedal combined.

But his biggest weapon is his heart.
John McEnroe said in his book "I'm McEnroe, read my book or die" the next line about Iron Mike.

"no one's going to try harder on a tennis court than Michael Russell"

Then he added:
"HELL YEAH, BITCH. Look at your tears of sadness after losing to Mike".

(Random pic, when I put Michael Russell in Google-images this guy appeared, and i'm scared he will kill my family if I don't post his pic here, I recomend you to post his pic in every post you make).

So, now, after you hear the words "LIVING LEGEND", you should think about Mike.
Come on, don't be a bad guy and go buy some tickets to see the legend play.

Look at that face!
Can you say "no" to that face?

And now, for closing this amazing chapter of MTF Bios, this is a video of Michael playing in the Honolulu challenger (As you would see, they won't play in snow anymore, that's so uncool).


That was Professor Johnny Viruz and MTF Bios.
Keep tuned. The next chapter is gonna be sooner than you expect.

I actually think Bernard Tomic will easily win career-year mixed doubles slam in 2020.

Jealous? Yeah, you are, you dirty hater.
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