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post #24 of (permalink) Old 07-23-2012, 04:17 PM
country flag abraxas21
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Age: 31
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Re: 12 killed and 59 wounded in Denver shooting at a Batman showing

just read this story in a music forum i sometimes frequent.

What a tragedy.

Some of you probably know that when I was young I had a severe psychotic episode. I actually was convinced of some absolutely absurd things (namely that I was god, that I was Santa Claus... seriously the list goes on) and heard voices in my head. Before that I was getting good grades, having a good time, everybody liked me etc.

It all reached a head when I attacked my next door neighbour in his own lounge room and tried to kill him with a blunt piece of timber. I went to hospital, took medication and right now am a perfectly fine 25 year old, with a partner and a child and nobody could ever imagine what I was like then.

If I was in America I may not have used a blunt piece of timber. I may have used an assault rifle. Here in Australia we don't have access to these types of things at Wal-Mart. He is no more and no less sane than I was, I can guarantee you of this. It was what he was taking in while he was breaking down, most likely due to drugs, that influenced what he became. I was reading books on paganism, witchcraft, biblical texts, he was reading Batman comics, watching war films, probably playing games like Call of Duty.

It is a tragedy, and I guess I am the only one on here who feels even an ounce of sympathy for James. I can understand why those who don't don't. The boy who he was 18 months ago would be as heartbroken to know what he has just done, if he's anything like me he may actually even return and have to live with it. He will end up in an asylum for life, even if he does recover from the psychosis because if that happens, he will have PTSD and more guilt and pain than most can even imagine and his face will never be allowed to be seen by anybody in society ever again.

When you see that his mother knew it was him immediately it brings to mind the memories of my mother during my psychosis. She was one of the only people who was genuinely unnerved by me the entire time. Even though mostly I was able to exist in society undetected despite the insanity inside me, she could see straight through and feared for me.

James might as well be dead now because his live will never be worth living again. I could have just as easily been that guy. Drugs, highly impactful media dressing up violence, insanity and revenge in a beautiful costume and access to devices of extreme violence made our outcomes different.

None of this will ever bring comfort to the loved ones of these victims. All a person like me can hope for from this is that it will finally see a serious stand taken in the US about gun control. That and for early warning signs of psychosis and mental illness to be taken very seriously. Educate yourselves.

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