Thank you guys about Montenegro*
Here is kind of how I see it:
1. Slovenia and Croatia, wanted to separate from the start because they were the more wealthier of the nations of former Yugoslavia. From the inception to its death, most of these people did not want to share their lands resources with their neighbors. They only wanted the lands for themselves. I guess in some sense they were greedy and accused poorer nations like Bosnia, Serbia, and Macedonia etc. of leeching off of them. While wealth was important to these two, so was cultural nationalism that had always existed in these regions.
You should read about the creation of Yugoslavia. In 1918, Croats and Slovenes requested to unify with Serbia. That was because if they hadn't they would be paying war reparations to the victors of WWI and would have been annexed by Italy, Hungary, and Austria.
If you look at the Slovenian case, their 2nd largest city - Maribor - is in Slovenia only because of their union with Serbia. The majority of people in Maribor in 1918 were German speakers who were pressured out or expelled. Same thing happened in 1945, when Tito sent Serbs to conquer Trieste from Italy (for Slovenia), but after thousands of lives lost had to return it to Italy (and quite rightly, I might add). With Croatia, it's a similar story. Istria, Rijeka (Fiume), Zadar (Zara), etc. would have gone to Italy if it weren't for Yugoslavia. It is precisely because Serbia accepted Croatia and deprived Italy of Dalmatia that the Italian fascists got so much support as "liberators" of the "unredeemed lands" that should have gone to Italy.
Read about the foibe, where Slovene and Croat communists stole territory from Italy by wiping out the Italians in these areas, despite the fact that in WWII Croatia was a rabid ally of Hitler and Mussolini: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foibe_killings
2. Albanians of Kosovo, Kosovo separated more for cultural reasons than economic ones. The Albanians of Kosovo were waiting for an excuse and Slovenia and Croatia, inspired and provoked them to take action ASAP. These guys were nationalist to the point where they even hated not just Serbs, but Bosnians and other minorities in these lands.
Basically correct. They've wiped Gypsies and Jews out of Kosovo, as well as Vitina Croats and Goranis, who are Serbian-speaking Muslims. Slovenia was coordinating everything with the Albanians. The 1974 constitution which gave Kosovo autonomy was written by a Slovenian schoolteacher named Edvard Kardelj. Slovenia was also sending them weapons starting in 1995 onwards to 1999, so even after their independence Slovenia was promoting the disintegration of Serbia.
3. Bosnia. I believe most Bosnians had this in mind: "What's the point of Yugoslavia anymore, Slovenia, Croatia, etc. have already split. They don't want to be a part of it. And this system and its economy are going to drop ASAP. We might as well separate too". So when this happened, Bosnians, Serbians, and even Croatians, were quick to react. They realized what was at stake (the lands).
Bosnia until the 1960s had Serbs as the largest ethnic group. That situation changed in favor of the Muslims due to Serb migration into Serbia (especially Belgrade), Muslim migration into Bosnia from poor areas of Serbia (Sandzak), and the higher Muslim birthrate. With under 50% of the population, it was suicidal for the Muslims to think they could create a unitary state dominated by them when their Christian neighbors were vehemently opposed to Muslim rule. The Croats played the Muslims well, knowing that they needed their demographic weight to tear Bosnia away from Yugoslavia, but then turning on them in 1993 to stake out their own land.
So pretty much I would say at heart, Croatia, Slovenia, and Kosovo, were the perpetrators that never wanted to stick it out. Whereas Bosnia, Serbia, Macedonia, only reacted to nationalism/separation because they saw what was coming.
Serbs, Bosnian Muslims, and Macedonians (in the order) were the biggest losers/victims of the breakup of Yugoslavia. They lost territory and lives (Serbs and Bosnian Muslims), or in the case of the Macedonians are dealing with an Albanian demographic timebomb headed the same way as Kosovo.
I'm sure though, even if Croatia, Slovenia, and Kosovo, wouldn't have sent in their resignation, I'm more than sure the war was imminent (if not), then somehow, someway, the collapse of Yugoslavia would have happened (because of cultural reasons primarily and economic reasons as a secondary motive).
With all said and done. Hopefully there is a way that these people and even their minorities (like Hungarians, Gypsies, Turks, Goranis etc.) can all live in peace.
I hope so too. But the machinations of Turkey, Germany, the US, the UK, and the Vatican continue, with Russia tagging along, so the Balkans will continue to see warfare and bloodshed, I am afraid.