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post #4 of (permalink) Old 10-12-2011, 11:52 AM
country flag Filo V.
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sleeping in the house of my latest jumpoff.
Posts: 34,908
Re: How do you personally deal with loneliness?

Originally Posted by 2003 View Post
Myself ive always personally associated loneliness with being single and/or not having many or any friends, but I understand one can feel lonely even when these things are present.

For me, I reckon my life would be as close to complete as I could hope for if I didnt have to battle loneliness all the time. I think it's one of those unique things that both males and females feel there is a lot of stigma to admitting or you feel weak admitting to it.

But what do you associate it with and how do you deal with it? Alcohol? Drugs? Hobbies? Sport? Work? Do you keep so busy you dont have time to think about it or what?

Does anyone associate it with rejection? Fear of never being able to find a life partner? I wish I could be like some people who just dont give a crap whether they have a girlfriend/boyfriend but I just cant, as hard as I try, I simply have to have one to feel content.

Its a hard thing to cope with because you feel like a loser for even mentioning it. You feel weak. Yet one assumes everyone feels it. Do you just soldier on or?
Loneliness ultimately isn't a sign of weakness, and it's sad that global society has attributed things like loneliness, depression with being weak. That also is relatable but not directly so, with the fact that people with emotional/mental disorders and other comparable issues, are looked down upon. The stigma is because most people are emotionally guarded. We're supposed to be tough and just "get over it" if we feel down about something. People don't want to talk about their issues because it raises insecurities they can't handle, so they reject them instead, and do things like extra work or extra sex as a defense mechanism.

You're not a loser, in fact the opposite for being open and honest, that makes you stronger than those who shove their issues aside and lead eternally painful lives. Ultimately, it's about how much you love yourself. If you love yourself, you won't feel reliant on others to feel whole in your life. If you love yourself, that means you put yourself first. It means your company should be the company you enjoy most. Just soldiering on when you feel like shit almost always leads to depression, which leads to a whole host of issues, emotional, psychological and physical. You need to be able to look in the mirror and love what you see and love who you are, and everything will fall in place from there.

How do you get to that point? I'm not sure. Everyone has their own ways to motivate ones' self. But that's something that hopefully you work on, because as I said, if you like who you are, then people will see that and attract themselves to you.
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