but I was worried that this idiot who lives a few houses down had stolen my package (he has already stolen other things from me, I got a couple of my garbage cans back, who the hell steals garbage cans?!).
This is completely off-topic, but if you do suspect mail is being stolen, contact the USPS immediately. After not receiving any mail for a week or so a few years back, I contacted them & they sent an investigator out less than an hour later. (It actually turned out that the mail wasn't stolen, but had been delivered to the wrong address & that person was out of town & hadn't found it.) No matter how much people complain about issues w. the USPS, it takes mail theft very seriously & will react quickly to any allegations of such.